How to #leanin in a male dominated industry

Professional women are not short of empowering mantras, but the reality can be far more challenging. It’s all well and good for women to #leanin, but what if those calling the shots don’t want to let them in? 

Alas, that remains a reality. The numbers show that women still struggle when it comes to workplace equality. Though gender diversity in the UK is trending up, progress is slow. Women can expect to take just 38% of senior leadership appointments at FTSE250 companies. 

The solution is multifaceted. Government policies have a part to play, and targets can also be helpful. But ultimately, women need to own their futures. We want practical and pragmatic advice that we can turn into action. 

Your ambition isn’t mine

That should start with an appreciation that getting ahead means different things to each of us. Too often, we presume that everyone shares the same ambition to climb the corporate hierarchy; and so we measure progress by the number of women in leadership positions. But that discounts women who have different priorities, that they feel can’t be reconciled with a more senior position: a better work/life balance; a passion for the duties of their current role; their health and welfare, as examples. (There is a separate and very worthwhile discussion to be had about how we should be able to reconcile these things…but I will not get drawn into that here.) 

It is not easy to go against groupthink. The definition of ambition has become so myopic that anything less than chasing down the next promotion is viewed as failure. It is worth fighting against. Take time to really ask yourself what you want from life. Like many women, I did that after the birth of my first child. I knew something had changed within me, and that it wouldn’t be possible to be the mother I wanted to be and do the job I had. So I pivoted from the long hours of scientific research to the 9-5 world of commercialising the IP from those discoveries, and finally into medtech. 

Don’t expect everyone to be aligned with your goals. In my case, I was going against my profession’s accepted wisdom. For most scientists, research is the pinnacle. For them, stepping away from that work would feel like a backwards step. But their ambition was not mine.

That said, we all need to dream with our feet on the ground. Every day I fantasise about running a yoga retreat at the foothills of the Himalayas by the banks of Ganges! But that will have to wait. We need to be realistic about what we have to do, and what others will let us do. Compromise is often part of the equation and the journey; and that’s OK. What’s key is knowing your own North Star, being comfortable with it, and equally supporting other women with their own ambitions. 

Your way will be always the best way

Too many of us copycat the traits we see in leaders, believing that is the only way to get to where they have got. We dismiss our own personalities; perhaps as too soft to be effective. 

But what does ‘too soft’ really mean? Does it mean being empathetic—absolutely crucial to avoid cognitive bias in decisions; or sensitive—so you can pick up on factors that might be affecting someone’s performance; or being quiet—choosing to listen and process information instead of jumping to conclusions. Being so-called ‘soft’ is often the clever play.

And if you're naturally confident, be performative; if you're combative, don’t dilute your aggression; if you have something important to say, don’t wait to be invited to speak. Men don’t have a monopoly on these behaviours. 

Authenticity is the single most important characteristic of a successful leader, because it creates the conditions that let those you manage work effectively. Bluffing your leadership style is ultimately unsustainable, because none of us can keep up an act forever. And when the disguise comes down, those around you are left confused about how they should act. 

What’s more, acting is exhausting. I know, I’ve tried it. When I settled in the UK from India 20 years ago, I initially struggled to find my authentic self. I emigrated with a PhD from the Indian Institute of Science and a certain level of respect and confidence. But I had been advised that, as a woman of colour, my qualifications wouldn’t count for much here. Better to just keep your head down and get on with your research job, they said. But I am not instinctively shy. Being quiet didn’t come easy…until it became impossible. In the end, your truth will be out.

You've done more than you give yourself credit for

As much as women are charged with suffering imposter syndrome, men should be charged with overconfidence. If job interviews were always conducted properly, having swagger and a loud voice would count for nothing. The only source of confidence should be in someone’s track record. So take a look back at yours.

When I took on a non-exec role at an early stage start-up, I was the only woman in a boardroom of world-renowned male academics. They often presumed I was there to take minutes and serve the coffee. But my qualifications and experience gave me the right to be amongst them. And I had insights that they didn’t; not least, I am a woman. For a Board advising a company about how to reach more customers and recruit and retain the best talent, I was the only one in the room who could talk to the female perspective. 

We should never presume others have more to offer. Even when they are more qualified, they are not necessarily better qualified. Remind yourself of what you have achieved. It may be in a different arena, but did you demonstrate skills that are transferable? When I left the research lab for a commercial role, I had no experience about how to monetise intellectual property; but I could demonstrate knowledge of clinical rigour, project management, and I had a strong professional network. Focus on what you’ve got and what you’ve done, not what’s missing. 

Carry that principle into your salary expectations. I am often struck by advice encouraging women to be braver when having these conversations. That suggests they are asking for something daring. Or why we say things like: “I do it for the love of the job”. There should be no conflict between doing a job that you love, and being remunerated appropriately. Your track record is your right to calculate and state what you’re worth. 

Make connections patiently

I have had mentors, and I have been a mentor. So I know how mentorship is a hugely powerful force on someone’s career. 

For some, the hardest part is in the asking, the fear of rejection. As someone who regularly gets asked to be a mentor, let me reassure you; we love it! I cannot think of a better accolade than someone wanting to learn from me. 

But if the prospect of asking someone to mentor you is outside your comfort zone, then ask by stealth. Start small, perhaps a request to shadow them for a day. If they say yes, take notes at meetings they have and share these with them. In short, become valuable. Give them reasons to want to keep you around. 

In fact, this can be a more effective way of getting a mentorship off the ground. It gives you a chance to judge whether your potential mentor is the right fit: are they available, do they include you, do you value the advice they give you? These are criteria that benefit from contact with reality. 

#leanon

Giving women advice and ideas is the easy part. The hard part is acting on them. Never think that is a lone pursuit. The one thing I have learned above all else is that women can be an incredible community. Whatever direction you want to take, let’s #leanon all of us.